Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
