It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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