btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
