I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let the clothes fall where they may.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
