Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize