you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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