Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
