no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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