I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
