Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
