I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
