I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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