Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
