Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize