There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I could fuck to npr.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
