Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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