Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
