So drunk its hurt
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
