I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
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