Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
