The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
