John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
