I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize