its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i now understand why vodka
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize