Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
