spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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