literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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