No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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