take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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