first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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