Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
