We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Boobs speak an international language.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
