Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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