hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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