What did we do last night that was yellow?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize