I will die if light touches me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
