i don't like sucking hair
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
