From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize