So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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