I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
