you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
