Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I will die if light touches me.
Duck Duck Cougar?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
