ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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