ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize