Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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