so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
