i permit you to call me
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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