so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
