Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize