last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
