but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
