There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i've created a new STD.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
