she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
