Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
