Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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