What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
