He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
