i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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