Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
