Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
